I Have Choices

In preparation for a class I was teaching, I read an essay By Amy Frykholm, entitled “Enslavement and Exodus” (1) , where she quoted Rabbi Ted Falcon. Rabbi Falcon has spent his life studying and teaching about Jewish spirituality, meditation, and interfaith work. In that context, the rabbi talks about how we all carry within us an “inner Pharaoh” often reflected in the tendency to judge ourselves as incapable, undeserving, and victims of circumstances out of our control. Or, it may judge us as supremely in charge of ourselves and invulnerable. He went on to say that we hold the keys to both our slavery and our freedom in how we handle our “inner enslaver”. I immediately thought back to our conversation with Ray Daugherty in a recent Exploracast podcast. (2)

Ray is an addiction prevention specialist and researcher. His company has led in research on best practices in prevention of addiction through a rigorous cross- disciplinary scientific approach. His and his colleagues’ work is the foundation for critical practices in addiction education and prevention.

I was intrigued by our conversation around the interplay between biology and choice. Ray resists referring to “addiction as disease” when it implies powerlessness and victimization. Rather, he sees “addiction as disease” in the same way we talk about heart disease. There may be risk factors that are out of our control. People may be born with certain genetic, biological or congenital risks to developing heart disease. Yet we know today that much of heart disease is both preventable and controllable based on lifestyle choices and decisions we make about our own health. Therefore, there are both uncontrollable and controllable risks. Often, controllable risks are significant drivers of the disease process.

Let me hasten to say that for a person deep in their addiction, to talk about “choices” in a treatment context can feel judgmental and uncaring. Nevertheless, even though AA’s first step is admitting “powerlessness” over your addiction, the remaining 11 steps clearly involve making courageous choices for sobriety and making amends. But in the context of prevention, it is important to talk about choices we make and risks we judge to be acceptable.

That was especially challenged by the way that Rabbi Falcon talked about the wilderness that stands between every Egypt and every Promised Land. His encouragement was that the movement away from personal enslavement, or avoiding self-entrapment, always begins with one courageous and conscious act, or choice, to move towards freedom.

It caused me to reflect on the power of my own choices and to be conscious of the ways that my choices and personal practices move me towards things that enslave me or practices that free me.

To make those choices requires honesty, self-knowledge, and accurate self-assessment about my risks and my risk tolerance, my interaction with potentially addictive substances and the choices I make. It sounds exhausting, but it keeps the path toward freedom, even through the wilderness, open and accessible.

1 “Enslavement and Exodus”, Amy Frykholm, Journey with Jesus - Enslavement and Exodus

2 Taking the Guesswork Out of Addiction Prevention