Being Taught By Her Actions

I grew up in the 60s and 70s, which was the time of what was called the Second Wave of the Women's Movement. There were women in the news who were marching, shouting, burning bras, writing books, and otherwise doing all they could to draw attention to the notion that women were still considered somewhat of an underclass. I found all that really interesting and even compelling but were I lived (southeastern Kentucky) was not really a place where too much overt "radicalism" was welcomed. So, I kind of watched with great interest but mostly in silence.

I'm glad to say that these messages got through to me. I believe today strongly in the absolute truth of equal rights on all fronts for women, even as there remain gaps in things like equal pay for equal work and equal representation in the halls of power. 

But the real heart of my learning were the observations of and reflections on how my mom, Betty Kincaid, lived her life. Full disclosure, she was never one to march or protest or burn and might have even been suspicious of those who did. But on the other hand, she was the absolute heart, soul, AND power in my family. My dad was an invalid who battled multiple sclerosis for decades which left the gap open for what we might call "the head of household". My mom would not have chosen to fill that role had she been given a choice but did so with love, courage, and even the fight that it took to nurse my ill and sometimes volatile father and manage two very much growing sons. There were no gender roles for her. There were simply the things that had to be done, whether it meant performing medical tasks for him, getting dinner on the table, disciplining the boys, or taking on the Veterans Administration to see that the benefits that were earned were benefits that were received. 

So today, I want to say a public thank you to my mother. She lived a life of power and honor and also taught me and my brother that woe be unto the person who assumed a woman is incapable of doing whatever needs to be done. Not only did she do it all, but she did it all just as well if not better than anyone else could have.